Do I want a spiritual teacher?

Hunh.  I think I want some sort of spiritual teacher.    I’m trying to discern religious and spiritual thoughts…but I’m having trouble.  Heck, liberal Christianity is sounding interesting to me right now, and I never thought I’d be saying that.  In part because I don’t know what questions I should be trying to answer.  Its interesting because I don’t really get this at church…I feel.  But I also don’t quite want a teacher who’s going to try to push their own religion on me.  I’m feeling kinda lost here…any advice?

Well, a little glimpse of the future career, dare I say, of Kinsi

Sometimes it’s really damn tough to get out of my boss future plans for me…even on a weekly basis, much less longer term than that (I usually find out where I’ll be Thursday on a Tuesday or Wednesday, for example) but today I asked him about travel -

See, when he promoted me and the other guy, lets call him Alan, he told us that we would alternate trips traveling with him when he goes off to other states to train, etc.  Me and Alan (yes, I also teach grammar for a living) were talking today and turns out the boss has given him a tentative travel schedule – but nothing on this end.  So tonight I asked him – I have a habit of being blunt with this boss, and he responds to it pretty well – what, if anything, the travel schedule would be.   This took place on a cell to cell, sometimes fuzzy connection, but what I gathered is that I’m not going to be traveling…Alan’s going to do it.  I’m going to be sticking close to home and eventually “in charge of Georgia” [and possibly North Carolina when it gets up and running]

Our company does have a plurality of centers in Georgia, and we’re the highest grossing state I believe, although they are hugely expanding out in California and that’ll overtake Georgia eventually.  “In charge” means in charge of like, teacher training, maybe teacher schedules, I guess.  Beats the hell out of me.

So I don’t know whether to be stoked or annoyed.  I don’t terribly mind I’m not going to be travelling – I was torn on whether I would want to travel or not.  Although I will have to travel around in Georgia…and hell maybe North Carolina and other spots in the southeast…it’s not the same as off to Illinois, Texas, etc.

I have to admit, the thoughts are there that Alan’s going to get a bigger promotion than me, which is ludicrous frankly. The two of us are trainers, and since that distinction was made a month ago I’ve really been the only one training new teachers…he’s been evaluating current teachers.  My bosses (including the president) are deferring to me when it comes to the trainees now, especially when they’re done with training and when they’re not, and just today I told the boss that the training curriculum he came up with had to change, and he accepted it.  But I also get the feeling they like him better than me (although I have to admit that might just be paranoia.  I have extraordinary low self-esteem.)

It’s such a complicated mess right now in my head about this whole climbing the corporate ladder thing.  Life was much easier as just a tutor.  This isn’t to say I don’t like training new teachers – I do, but it gets pretty monotonous after a couple of days in a row, whereas tutoring kiddos is/was always different.

Millenials and Political Beliefs

Pretty interesting article on political beliefs of us young folk.

Kinsi vs. life

So I’m trying to get my life back in order after getting into a funk for the past month getting used to the new job.  I’m going back on Weight Watchers, with a very good UUWW buddy, I’m back to vitamins and threw in some st. johns wort till the funk is done.  Bought real food at the grocery store instead of garlic bread.  Started organizing my files last night and started the slow process of cleaning my apartment.

It’s approaching time for Kinsi to come back with a vengeance.

Oh. Hey there.

So its been eons since I last update.  Reasons -

1) burnout.  I burnt out on everything related to Unitarian Universalism.  I haven’t been to church in almost three weeks…thats the first time thats happened since I set foot in the door of UUCA.  Burn out on everything.  I might not go to church again this Sunday.  You know what I did last sunday?  Watch every single star wars movie, all 6 of them, and it felt great.

2) promotion.  It’s not that its more work (its not really, just a little) but it just sucks the energy out of me, so by the time I get home I’m too zonked to blog.  or think.  or do anything but watch tv, read harry potter stories, or

3) fish.  I bought an aquarium!  10 gallon, got three goldfish (Fred, Ginger, and Craig, expect pictures in the future) and I’ve spent a little amount of time each night doing maintenance, reading about fish, etc.

There’s actually a lot more mental anxiety thats coming along with my promotion that I didn’t expect.  I got promoted from tutor to a low to mid level manager of teachers and trainer, along with still teaching students.  I’ve had some anguish over the managing stuff – part of my job is evaluating current teachers and filling out reports on them – I’m judging their job performance, and there are a couple that just suck (for lack of political correctness) and my evaluation will probably be used in justifying their firing – and it’s a weird feeling.  I don’t like it – I assume I’ll get used to it, but this is really the first time I’m responsible for evaluating teachers (and trainees!  I have to start giving letter grades to my trainees on how good I think they are so my boss can decide who makes it out of training and who doesn’t) and it’s just freaking weird.  And it makes me uncomfortable.