Unitarian Quirks from Thanksgiving

Two things Unitariany stand out on my thanksgiving pilgrimage up to Indiana to see my grandma. One good, one not the worlds best.

1) The good – On the way up to Indiana, my mom and I were talking about the quiet car trip. Ever since I was a little kid, we would never listen to much music or other noise on long car trips, especially when my mom was driving. It drove me bonkers as a little kid, and although I’ve now accepted it as one of her character quirks, I still roll my eyes every time I sit down for a car ride with her. She finally explained it to me this trip – “I know you guys never got why I don’t like listening to music. I like it quiet. I like the silence of the trip.” I had never heard my mom say something I would expect to her at my Unitarian congregation. She wants the trips to be silent so she can relax from the hustle and bustle of the real world. A form of meditation. I was pleasantly surprised…and then turned on my ipod.

2) I mentioned something to my grandma and mom about church after seeing an ad for All Souls in Indianapolis in the Indy Star church section of the paper. I forget the exact details of what started the conversation, but I distinctly recall what came after it. It went something like this:

Grandma: But that’s not a church.

Me: But I think it is.

Grandma: That’s not what I mean. It’s not a church.

Me: And why not?

Grandma: Well, they don’t preach the Bible.

Mom: They preach the bible from the pulpit there, don’t they <Kinsi>?

Me: Uh, no.

Grandma: See, then it’s not a church.

Me: Yes it is

Grandma: Its not a church if they don’t preach the bible. They believe in that…individual….stuff. Its fine if thats what you believe, but its not a church.

Thanks grandma.

Prayer and Rain down in the Bible Belt

So in case you live under a rock, there’s a drought in Georgia. A bad one in the Atlanta area. Warnings of 70 days of drinkable water left are thrown out daily. Local news spends entire segments on drought news. Lake levels are now a staple to the weather report.

Governor Purdue had a good, old fashioned, prayer for rain vigil 2 weeks ago at the Georgia capitol. Something I think we’ve been made fun of for a bit, something I’ve certainly made fun of for the past few weeks, especially when they claimed success as it rained the next day. The former meteorologist in me knew it was going to rain then, as it had been in the forecast for ages, whether the prayer vigil was going on or not.

I had practically forgotten until tonight when the local NBC station did a news station about a prayer vigil for rain in Snellville, a suburb of Atlanta, today. And it rained, and they claimed success. “It rained even before the start.” Once again, it was going to rain despite of any prayer vigils going on.

The news put up a graphic saying that from Nov. 1-14th, no rain. Then the vigil, and then its rained an inch since then. This irked me. Besides the obvious selection basis (It rained in July. That was prior to the prayer vigil as well.) they were leading us to the conclusion that the prayer vigil worked. Especially when the reporter practically said so, and then the newscasters talked about it amongst themselves, and the power of prayer. This offended the former fundamentalist atheist in me, and I was pretty annoyed by it and obviously still am or I wouldn’t be writing about it, two hours after the fact.

But now I’m wondering why I’m so angry. I certainly wish that instead of praying Governor Sonny would be working on a comprehensive statewide water plan. I wish people were working out how they were going to conserve water instead of praying. And I wish people would stop expecting divine intervention when we ought to be working out how we can help ourselves.

But does that mean I should be filled with righteous indignation over the mere mention of prayer vigils for rain, especially when they try to take credit for rain?

Prayer vigils shouldn’t about expecting divine intervention- they should be about providing comfort. There’s a fair amount of fear, media driven or not, down here about the water situation. (What can we do? We’re powerless! What happens if we run out of water? etc.) I think, as an outside looking in when it comes to prayer, that it cheapens the whole notion of prayer to be praying for rain.  Prayer should be used as a comfort, and not as public policy for curing the drought.

7 things most people don’t know about me

I got tagged by a deist in Texas.  So why the heck not.  7 things that even my friends might not know about me:

1.  I was in a bowling league in Middle School through early High School, and I was consistently voted secretary-treasurer of the league, the only position that actually did something.  I had to collect all of the pay envelopes and pay the house, and put the rest of the money aside for the trophies (I was supervised, of course.)  I think I was elected every season because I was willing to do the math.  My teams were never very good, although one year my team got second in the league, which shocked everyone.  There were three of us and a vacancy (which was all handicap.)  I had a huge crush, one of my early boy crushes, on one of my team mates.  The other guy I wasn’t a  huge fan of, and ran into like, 4 years later at a grocery store when he was sitting in the back of a pickup truck.  I got into bowling because I remember my dad on a bowling team, and it was one of the few things that my mom and I could do together.

2.  I used to write harry potter fan fiction when I was in college.  One of my stories got over 1000 reviews, a big benchmark in fanfic world.  I wrote it right after OoTP came out, and was the first one out there, hence the mega reviews.  I was talking with someone in NaNoWriMo chat last year, and he knew me from my fanfic story Betrayal of the Phoenix.  I was pretty shocked.  I’ve never finished any of the stories and haven’t written on them in eons.

3.  I could practically draw a map of a funeral home in Sheridan, Indiana, by memory.  I had to go there so much from when I was 9-12.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget hiding in the backroom, with the old fashioned coke bottle machine, playing cards while avoiding the wake at my dad’s funeral.

4.  My version of a great time is sitting down and playing cards with friends.  Anyone know Euchre?

5.  I had to play a year of every little league sport but the one I really wanted to – football.  I absolutely hated wrestling, which I was forced into as a third grader, and hated soccer, first grade.  I hated baseball, except the season when I was catcher.  I only liked basketball.

6.  In 8th grade I got in trouble for sexual harassment – I loathed a girl in my class, Christi (with an i.)  I muttered under my breath for her to go bite herself, an expression I learned from my sister.  She asked me to repeat it, so louder I told her to go eat herself.  I had *no clue* what that meant at the time, and didn’t know why I was in trouble.  I almost asked the vice principle what it meant, but I was too mortified for getting into trouble.  I learned like, 3 years later what the expression meant, and was, once again, mortified.

7.  My first kiss was truth or dare, kissed by a girl.  Ick.

And I am not going to tag anyone.  If you want to do it to, consider yourself tagged.

Reminiscing while reformatting my hard drive

Well, I couldn’t fix it, the damn thing.  I couldn’t get around the gaping registry holes the malware put into my system.  I couldn’t install any anti virus stuff, nor use online ones, because it also went after “Active X” whatever that is.  I got the important stuff, what I could, off onto CDs.  But I’m reformatting it and restoring it back to its factory condition.  Maybe if I were an uber-techno-geek I would have been able to fix it.  Alas, I’m not.

I got this computer in early 2000 (still has Win98 on it) for Georgia Tech, and have loved it, mostly up until last week, every minute of it.  I’ve had a lot of memories with this computer, and I couldn’t put all of those on a CD.  First thing that pops into my head are the backlogged emails from my Tech days.  All of my CHANGE emails, Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week emails, the entire Georgia for Kucinich 04 campaign, in the process of being gone.

Maybe this is a good thing.   I’ve felt for a while that one phase of my life is over, and a new has begun.  Maybe this will do it, cutting the ties to my college days and my old lives, and starting fresh.  I’ll try to put that positive imagine on it…let’s see if it sticks.

Its hard to characterize an emotion right now – I’m not mad, I’m not sad, I’m not nostalgic, more just, resigned?  I think resignation fits pretty well.  Just like an elk, keep on marching through the situation.

Thanksgiving in Indy, part 1

Its a weird feeling in my Grandmothers neighborhood up here in Indianapolis. You get the feeling that Indianapolis is a dying community in some areas, especially in her neighborhood of Irvington.  I got the distinct feeling a few years ago that this was just a dying community.  It’s heyday was in the 1950s, and the neighborhood hasn’t really evolved since then.

But on this trip I for the feeling that it might not be on its last breath.  The shops on Washington are doing pretty well.  They actually opened a Starbucks – and I’m shocked.  I walked over there earlier in the cold (by Georgia standards) weather to get some coffee for me and Mom…and picked up some for Grandma and hot chocolate for Ava (my niece.)  Walking back, I passed what appears to be a pretty good pizza place reminiscent of Felini’s in Atlanta, and a few new specialty shops.  The Irving theater is getting acts again, and when we drove in Wednesday night the restaurants were pretty packed.

The houses here are old and nice.  If I knew something about architecture, I could talk a little more about it.  My grandma owns a duplex and lives in half of it.  She used to rent out the other half, the last tenant being my older cousin.  She’s probably going to have to sell it next year  She can’t really afford to do the upkeep necessary for it, and its a pretty big house for just her.  Its too bad because this house has been in the family for ages.  This is the house my mom grew up in 50 years ago.  Back in the day my great grandmother lived in the other half of he duplex I believe.  If I could, I would seriously think about moving up here into the other half of the duplex, restoring it to its historical prime.  But my job, my life, is down in Atlanta.

Some things about this house have never changed in my 25 years visiting.  The kitchen floor is still the same red outlined in black pattern.  I’ve never seen the pattern elsewhere.  There are the same three american revolutionary plates hanging above the TV.  The table, the thanksgiving table is the same as its always been.  The inset bookshelf with family photos has always been there.  There are some things new – the cat, Chester, for example.  Chester didn’t have a name for a long time, but when Grandma had to take him to the vet to get neutered, they had to have a name (they wouldn’t take “Cat.”)  Grandma had seen a cheetos commercial earlier in the morning, and dubbed the orange tabby “Chester.” Said cat is currently playing havoc with my respiratory system.

Three bedrooms, one bathroom.  With no shower.    Thats the biggest downside to visiting up here.  The lack of a shower.  And I don’t exactly fit in a bathtub.  The only one bathroom does get rather inconvenient when we have a household full.  Lines down the stairs are commonplace during thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving this year was different.  Last year we had all the extended family here at Thanksgiving.  This year my middle cousin, the one who rented the other side of the duplex for a couple of years, wanted to have his own thanksgiving, for his wife’s side of the family.  My grandma was not invited.  My aunt and uncle went down to Jacksonville to see my little cousin and his internet girlfriend turned wife’s trailer for thanksgiving.  My Grandma was going to go to her sister’s house, but when me, mom, and Ava announced our intentions to come up she gladly changed her plans.  We had an early thanksgiving dinner, around 1.  My oldest cousin came over with his wife and two children, stopping by on the way to my middle cousin’s house (and ended up staying for a little dinner.  His wife, I think, felt pretty darn guilty about the thanksgiving invitation drama this year.)  We ate a quick dinner, with the kids playing with each other most of the time.  I remember ages ago Thanksgiving was the family holiday, where my moms side of the family would completely conglomerate at my grandma’s house and eat a huge family diner.  Conversation topics would range from medical issues, to memories, to the attractiveness of the royal family.  Football would be on the TV, but we would be around the card able not paying attention.  Euchre cards would be out in full force, the team of me and grandma using playing our bouers towards victory.

Those days have past, just like the neighborhood.

AHhhhh crap.

So, much to my credit, I am not having a panic attack.

My desktop computer, in its really old glory (it’s from 2000.  Still has Win98) apparently picked up something bad.  When I opened it up, all the settings and everything was gone.  Still the files and programs, but things like favorites, settings, everything is poof gone.  This laptop has arrived with freakish timing.  So I’m pulling off the files that are important – past writing, pictures, etc. and putting them on some of the billion cds I have.  Then transfer them, if they are clean.  (Although whatever infected a Win98 computer would highly unlikelyily affect a brand new mac os.)

I’m moderatley in shock at the moment.  What the hell happened to my old computer while I was at work today??

Ok all of you Mac addicts

What are the programs/tools/downloads/etc. that I just absolutely must have for my brand new MacBook?

The universe works in mysterious ways

A while ago I asked my boss for a company laptop, as I really do need one to do my job.  He told me that they were going to surprise me with one by the end of the year, waiting for the new mac OS to come out.

I was on the phone with my mom today, discussing the logistics of our thanksgiving pilgrimage up to Indiana to see my grandma, and she inquired about said laptop.  I told her I hadn’t gotten it yet, and am starting to wonder if I really want it, as my job duties would expand even further from their already bloated state.  And I was looking forward to using the excuse that my grandma has no computer, nor Internet, so I couldn’t really do anything remotely work related while I was gone.  Laughs were had.

Well, my boss called me up about 2 hours later, saying the laptop was in!  “And great timing too!  You can take it with you on your Indiana trip!”

You know you’ve had a long/bad week…

It’s been a rough week in the life of Kinsi.  I’ve had much worse in my life, but this is probably the worst so far this year.  I pretty much had to fire someone for the first time – I didn’t have to actually make the call but I had to send him an evaluation that made it clear it was about to happen, and it pretty much completely trashed him.  He’s a nice guy too, which sucks all the more, and made me feel like crap this week.  But he’s just too, well, incompetent to be a tutor.  if you are going to tutor math, you need to know at least Algebra 2 concepts.  My brain knows that its part of my job, and certainly the students will be better off with their new tutor, but it just doesn’t make that sadness in my heart go away.  I have to write about 15 more evaluations at some point soon, and I’ve got a few rather big work projects weighing on me.  I haven’t had time this week to work on my NaNoWriMo and have accepted my goal shall go unmet.

I had a huge back and forth with trying to rent a car, which took a lot of mental energy away this week, and in the end when I got to go pick it up they wouldnt take my debit card, so then it was a whole lot of nothing.  When I couldnt find my cell phone when stuck in stop and go traffic in the middle of south carolina (traffic for no reason), I almost broke down in tears.  Its not that the cell phone had all that meaning, but it was just one more thing in top of everything else/.  (The cell phone was found…by me…underneath the center of my passenger side seat.)  Even the songs on my XM/MP3 player were making me want to cry (and we’re not talking about big emo songs here, we’re talking Santeria by Sublime.)  And whats with that random traffic in SC?  Traffic in atlanta doesn’t really annoy me that much, because its to be expected.  But the traffic for no reason in the middle of no where just aggravates me.

I hope thanksgiving will be a break – I’ll be gone from Wed-Sun,  off with my mom and my niece to trek up to Indy for thanksgiving with my grandma, but even then it wont be a real break.  I need to look into cheap vacations for next year.

But I just need a good cry I think.  So I’m going to go watch Ordinary People, one of the movies guaranteed to make me cry.  If I get it out then it’s out and not in, and I wont be obsessing over it.  And hope that the rough week shall end tomorrow.

What a research paper on Emerson can teach me about life

So I work for an education company, for the two of you that don’t know. I still teach a few days a week, but now I mostly do other stuff (like training, which is what I’m doing right now typing via PDA in charlotte.)

My student Chris had to decide on a research paper topic, and I helped out with the decision. He picked the topic Emerson’s attacks on Unitarianism, as he had just read some Emerson in school. Last week I had to proof and edit his paper, which was the first time I has seen his final paper.

Well, he was filled with questions about modern day Unitarian Universalism. This was the first time I had really ever sat down and discussed modern day Unitarian universalism with someone, and that someone was one of my students.

He asked the inevitable question “what do you Unitarians believe?” After stumbling through an answer, he followed up with “well I read you can kind of pick and chose what you like of other religions.” I completely misunderstood his tone – I thought he was implying that was a bad thing but actually thought it was “kinda cool”. So I launched into a discussion about how some believe that and some follow more classic religions. Theres a UU Christian group, a UU Buddhist group, a UU pagan group, etc. He asked me which one I was in – I told him I was an undecided Unitarian universalist, and he thought that was cool. The whole table was absorbed in our discussion…and when I realized that I hollared for everyone to get back to their math and we moved on.

Evangelism on the job is a tricky business, especially for a religion that sees evangelism as a bad thing. Its even more so when the job is working with kids. I didn’t get to the point of inviting him to some Unitarian church, although there is one pretty close by the center in question. It took a while to get to the point in the conversation where I felt comfortable. I would like to say I don’t know why, but I clearly do.

I’m not solid enough in my beliefs to feel comfortable talking about them with other people in person…especially strangers. I’m just now starting to enter in a time of spiritual exploration, centered around Taoism and Ekhart Tollee, and I have yet to see where that will lead me. I hope that if I felt more comfortable in my own skin, then I would be more comfortable evangelizin’.